Yes there is a lot out there claiming to have the TRUTH for you on weight loss. Yet despite the volume and ‘noise’ of information, there really is very little of what I would consider the “true truth” about weight loss.
It’s not that we are being deliberately lied to, its just that the majority of weight loss ‘authorities’ out there truly do believe in, what I consider, the old, outdated, ‘masculine’ model of weight loss.
It’s all about PUSHING, FORCING, going HARDER, eating LESS and doing MORE.
And honestly, most of it is completely INCORRECT, especially if you are a woman!
More of us THAN EVER before are battling with our bodies.
“Overweight” is almost the new “normal”.
And yet so many of us are unhappy about this. Dissatisfied. Uncomfortable.
We don’t like where we’ve gotten to, yet everything we seem to try just DOESN’T work.
When I was a child, I WAS THE FATTEST KID IN THE CLASS!
Often, when people look at the photos, they say, “Oh you weren’t THAT big…”
I am not telling fibs though. I truly was the heaviest kid- in a composite class (meaning there were kids in my class a whole year older than me!).
I know for sure because we had these maths activity books in which we often had to complete “real life” mathematical activities- like measuring our height, and weight.
The teacher would plot our figures on a graph on the blackboard- plain and clear for EVERYONE to see.
Indeed, Bridget was the shortest AND heaviest out of everyone! (yes, slightly humiliating!)
So whilst I was definitely the ‘outlier’ in my class all those years ago, today I would be considered ‘normal’. I would most definitely NOT be the heaviest kid. Hell! I might even be competing for one of the slimmest!
Something is amiss in our society for more of us than ever to be struggling with our weight.
Many of those in this struggle have not had an issue before. Once upon a time, they would simply cut back their intake; maybe up their exercise and BAM, they’d be back on track.
These days though it seems so much more complex than that. Those old methods of weight loss and maintenance just AREN’T cutting it for the majority of people.
I see it over and over. Women who are training harder than ever, eating less and “better”, seeming to do EVERYTHING right and yet their weight just ISN’T budging! They are at a complete loss knowing where or how to get their weight under control, and are at their wits end having tried EVERYTHING!
I never used to really understand this struggle. For me it was always a simple equation. That OLD SCHOOL equation that EVERYONE seems to buy into…
CALORIES IN < CALORIES OUT = WEIGHT LOSS
Yet, I promise you I NOW know better!
This is ABSOLUTELY NOT the formula for weight loss, especially if you’re a woman!
Let me share with you how I discovered this….
Almost 6 years ago now, I too was one of those people who really did believe that the weight game was a rather simple equation and that the body could be essentially manipulated, or coaxed, into the “right” weight or shape depending on what you DID with it.
I was CONVINCED that I had ALL the answers and that I could help ANYONE- regardless of their challenges (hormones included)- to lose weight.
And I did, a lot of the time!
The thing is, I am a perfectionist (still recovering!)
The ones I couldn’t help TRULY bothered me. I have this deep, in-born desire to help others. When I “fail”, I just can’t let it go.
I know how it feels to be desperately unhappy with yourself; to feel so FAT and UNATTRACTIVE that you retreat from the world.
It’s HEARTBREAKING.
Many women live this reality EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. They cover themselves up with baggy clothes, avoid eye-contact, say ‘no’ to social outings- especially if they require swimmers- and CONSTANTLY beat themselves up for not being what they’ve been conditioned to believe is the RIGHT weight or body.
In this space, self-esteem & self-respect is worn away and RESENTMENT and self-loathing grows.
I do not wish that pain for ANYONE and that’s why I am so driven, passionate and focused on finding solutions that DO work.
All those years ago, I tirelessly pursued more ideas, more options, more research.
What was I missing??
My intuition is my radar. I trust it, without question, when scouring over and through information.
So much of what I read back then did NOT resonate.
I dismissed it.
I kept searching.
EVENTUALLY I encountered a body of research that DID resonate.I KNEW DEEP INSIDE THIS is what I had been looking for.
The problem was though, at this point, my “intellectual, stubborn and fear-driven” self would not allow me to FULLY embrace it…
It was not a simple, quick-fix, ‘sexy’ solution that could easily fit into a person’s life and resolve their weight issues overnight…
What I read was a WHOLE NEW WAY of relating to ourselves and to life….
I thought it sounded lovely- I knew it to be true- yet I put it away hoping to find better, quicker, easier “cheat” options.
I truly thought (as I know MANY of my clients do!), “Yeah, that all sounds lovely, but really, who has time?? Its just not realistic!”
Well.
The Universe didn’t seem to like my response so much and PUSHED ON with its lesson for me!
After YEARS of living my life HIGH, FAST and CONSTANTLY achieving, pushing, moving forward, being “successful”, I started to FALL IN A HEAP.
I couldn’t run like I used to, although I tried.
I pushed my body. I battled with it.
I told myself I would feel better if I simply pushed through.
I became frustrated, depressed and very anxious when my old methods failed to work.
I ate less, convincing myself I was at fault and doing something wrong.
When I couldn’t run because I was in too much pain, too tired and too heavy, I walked.
I felt like a zombie, pushing and pushing and pushing myself.
I did NOT understand.
My body was changing and I had no idea how to deal with it anymore.
It felt foreign.
I rejected it and simply wished everyday for my old self and body to return.
No such luck!
Finally, I conceded and went to the doctor (something I NEVER usually do!).
I knew something was up and I had a good inclination what it was.
Sure enough, after some testing and investigations it was confirmed.
I had Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).
“Ok! I accept the challenge,” I told myself.
“I know all about this condition and I can fix it”. (hahaha- I laugh at how “mental” I was about the whole thing!)
I told my Doctor I did not want- and would not- use a medical option for dealing with this.
She urged me to start the OCP (oral contraceptive pill), or at least a progesterone pill to get my body back in balance.
My head said, “No! I don’t want to gain MORE weight”, yet my heart and spirit knowingly and confidently said to my doctor, “No.I know this is an emotional and spiritual thing I need to work on and once I’ve dealt with that I know my body will be naturally back in balance“.
Surprisingly she did not laugh or criticise me. She agreed to my request.
The thing is, as much as said all of that out loud and knew deep within me that this was indeed the truth, I continued to fall into old patterns and habits of “what I knew” to get my body “back to normal”.
Over time I got more and more exhausted.
I got more and more depressed.
I got more and more anxious.
I had no idea where I had gone…neither did my family.
When I went home to visit them in Melbourne, they were all visibly shocked and disturbed. The look on my nana’s face had the biggest impact on me though.
“Where have you gone Bridget?”Her eyes sincerely concerned.“This is not you”
I knew what she was saying was true and I was so very frustrated and ashamed.
I am a naturally bubbly, confident, happy and ever-energetic person who fuels herself with a true PASSION for life, people and learning.
Those who knew me back then called me a “pocket rocket”, an “energiser bunny”…a BIG BALL OF ENERGY, in a teeny little package.
Yet, here I sat- lost, desperately unhappy, completely exhausted, with a true sense of helplessness.
It took me all my might to simply smile.
My “mind demons” were out of control.
Constant criticism was my companion. I could do nothing right. I was all wrong.
Who I had become was, in my judgment, a “loser, soft and pathetic”….
It still shocks me how “against myself” I had become, and how much I truly did reject and hate this “new person”.
Somewhere in that space of time, I visited another doctor, desperate for more answers.
Yes, it was confirmed. I had gotten myself into a state of adrenal fatigue and my cortisol levels were SKY-HIGH.
Quite simply, in a nutshell, I had jammed my body into what I call “Fear Gear” and had convinced it that it was CONSTANTLY under attack.
I see this in many of my clients today.
When you are in this state, your body is essentially in the “stress response” 24/7.
This is mediated by a body system known as the Sympathetic Nervous System.
Messages are sent to the adrenal glands that you are under attack and that you need to FLEE or FIGHT the source of threat, generating a whole cascade of stress hormones. Two of these are adrenaline and cortisol.
These chemicals very cleverly enable you to do super-human things, like lift a car off your baby, or run from a lion.
The problem is, when they are NOT used and left to constantly circulate in the body, they generate all sorts of damage and inflammation.
Essentially they shut down our ability to digest and metabolise effectively AND cause us to gain weight.
There is SO much more to explain here- and in future posts I will.
For now though, I will keep the explanation simple.
Chronic stress response = hormone imbalances = weight gain, pain, inflammation, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, etc!
So, what do we do about all of this?
Take medications?
“FIX” the body from the outside in?
No.
I wouldn’t recommend that.
By all means, you can go ahead and try….I sure did!
Many women are in this space RIGHT NOW.
The thing is, though- the body, the mind, the spirit- the entirety of ALL the aspects that make us HUMAN BEINGS is MUCH more intelligent than we could ever intellectually understand.
MUCH more.
We may try something externally (that is OUTSIDE, IN) and the body will simply adjust internally to get back to where it wants or needs to be at that moment.
We are a body of chemical reactions. Constant chemical reactions.
You only need to consider the male sexual response to an arousing IDEA to understand just how powerful & impacting THOUGHTS ARE on our internal “chemical soup”- which in turn, creates the external “physical response”.
Yes. That’s right.
There are things going on “up there”- that you may not be even consciously aware of- that IS without a doubt, creating, or at least significantly contributing to, the physical reality you are experiencing RIGHT NOW.
As long as you convince yourself otherwise, that surely there is an answer “out there”, that there is something you have missed, something you are doing wrong, something nutritional that you are not getting- you will keep yourself locked into the torturous and never-ending “battle” of weight, health and energy imbalance.
You will have to “keep motivating yourself” and “trying so hard”; being “so disciplined” and “so good”. You will have to stay on a regime that you “know” works!
Essentially, you will have to keep FIGHTING yourself…
I am here to tell you that THAT is not the answer.
THAT will NOT bring you everlasting peace, health and happiness.
THAT is exhausting….
THAT is self-depleting…
THAT will only take you further away from yourself and leave you feeling LOST, CONFUSED, FRUSTRATED and DEFEATED!
Lay down your weapons ladies.
Make peace with yourself.
All you want is to be heard, listened to, cared for and loved….
You want FUN, CREATIVITY, JOY and LAUGHTER.
You do not want RULES, DEPRIVATION, DIETS and CONSTANT DISCIPLINE….
You are a spirit.
You ARE divine.
Honour this.
TRULY. DEEPLY.
It WILL all “right” itself- from the INSIDE, OUT!
As I mentioned earlier- this drive, this passion- it wells up from WITHIN me.
A deep compassion for how it feels to truly hate yourself.
To truly separate your physical self from your WHOLE self and spend all your time and energy focusing on your BODY and battling against the essence of who you are…
To have found a place of deep peace, understanding, compassion and love; to be in true ALIGNMENT with myself; to finally feel that I can LISTEN to and TRUST myself; THAT is what I want for all women!
I want all women to truly love themselves.
To TRULY admire and HONOUR who they are.
To be so “in-sync” with themselves that they know exactly how to NATURALLY rebalance when off kilter. Without force or deprivation or self-loathing.
That is what I wish to bring to the world and share with you J
I hope you love it, I hope you find relief and answers in what I have to share.
LOTS OF LOVE,
Bridget Jane
Dietitian ~ Counsellor ~ Psychology of Eating Coach
www.newleafnutrition.com.au
Food Body Lifestyle Guru – New Leaf Nutrition
BLOG: Fit Fabulous and Fierce