I am a veteran of International Women’s Day. When I first started working in women’s health over twenty years ago, I had never heard of it. I was born in the 60’s, and rural Queensland at that time wasn’t exactly caught up in the Women’s Liberation movement. My mum is a strong, smart, capable woman. When she married at 18, she had to give up a job she loved. Not through choice, it was her employer’s policy at the time to not employ married women. So she did what every other young, married woman was doing at the time and had four kids. She and Dad struggled a bit, like everyone else we knew. But she always seemed frustrated. With four kids under five by the time she was in her early 20’s, with no driver’s licence or transport, it’s no wonder. She and Dad encouraged all of us kids to pursue our educations and to get jobs. Marrying young wasn’t encouraged. Having a family was something I always wanted to do, but I knew it wasn’t the only thing I wanted to do. I met my husband at high school. We started dating when I was 17. I knew he was someone I wanted to have in my life; it’s just a good fit. And yet when it came to being married, I put it off for three years. I could not possibly have met the person, “the one” in high school. How cliché! And yet, get married we did, and had two wonderful children in my late 20’s.
The biggest difference between my life and my mother’s is that I got to choose to finish high school. And I chose to keep working, both after I married and after having our children. Financially it didn’t feel like much of a choice – it’s good to be able to pay the mortgage and eat every day – but I also genuinely enjoy being productive outside of the home. I love being a mum (most days); housework and I have come to an arrangement (for goodness sake if you know me – don’t just drop in, please ring!). I respect the choice that any woman makes when it comes to what suits her and her family. There is no single path that suits everyone.
It’s that choice that I am most grateful for and which International Women’s Day brings to mind for me personally. No one ever asked my husband if he would keep working after the children were born, or how he juggled child care in the school holidays, or moaned to him about the pile of washing on rainy days. Being a woman throughout history has seen our choices about our own lives limited by virtue of gender. In some countries, still, women’s education, money, fertility and even ownership of their own bodies is not their choice.
While feminism is still not a popular word, I challenge any woman who has her own bank account, chooses whether or not to take contraception, decides where she wants to be employed, owns or rents property (jointly or on her own), who started or ended a relationship on her own terms, or has a driver’s licence and car, or chose what level of education she has to tell me why she thinks she’s not a feminist. By virtue of making these choices, you have taken control of your own life. Unless your husband, brother or father made these choices for you, and still making these choices for you, congratulations – you’re a feminist! It’s not about marching in the streets (although go ahead if you want – the local laws these days make it a pain to organise). It’s not about putting anyone else down. It’s about equality for everyone, including men. It’s about mutual respect and social justice. It’s about creating a better future where everyone, regardless of gender, race or sexuality, has the same opportunities to make choices about their lives.
There’s a long way to go. Hell, I don’t think we’ll get there in my lifetime. But I look forward to getting closer every day. We will all benefit from the progress. Happy International Women’s Day!
