Someone said to me yesterday. You have to work like you don’t have children and raise children as if you don’t work. I hadn’t heard this before and I know it’s not original, but it’s spot on.
Having already raised my children and coming through the other side, it doesn’t apply to me anymore and I can now refocus on my work.
This morning I was at an event at 7am and I just walked out of the house – no responsibilities. I took an hour to get ready, picked up my fake Louis Vuitton overnight bag and toddled off to an event in my pressed outfit and sparkly high heels without a backward glance.
This is a luxury not afforded to me for 20 years and one I am consciously loving and embracing daily.
When I was a working, hands on mum I was like a mad woman, but it wasn’t verbalised, we struggled and juggled in silence and tried to pretend we had our sh*% together. We didn’t.
I was listening to Caroline from 92.7 Mix FM this morning beautifully articulate her feelings on feminism, and had a strong urge to ring and weigh in on the discussion.
Yesterday I met a National Sales Manager who flies around the country overseeing all Australian Managers and all sales reps. He obviously does a lot more than this and with great pay packets and titles come great responsibility.
The thing is, we started in the same industry in the same year and would have both no doubt been very good at our jobs.
However I left the workforce in 1997 to have my first child and then we moved towns, then our 2nd baby arrived and then Google, Facebook and laptops happened so I had to retrain.
But that is why, I, as a woman, am not in a top job. I’m actually back in exactly the same job I was in 22 years ago – same company, same title and even some of the same clients, and the same pay.
And that is because I knew, to be the best mother I could be, my children had to come first. And it’s a decision I will never ever regret. They are the product of my choices.
I didn’t have a wife at home whose primary focus was our children which would allow me to work to my potential and climb the corporate ladder knowing all their needs were being met.
I am not upset about this, but it’s why women in their 50’s are not in CEO’s or in more upper management roles.
Of course we are as capable, but our focus has been elsewhere for so long and we know what’s important in life – our next generation.
At the risk of being smashed, I feel instead of fighting for what others have or have not, whether men or women, we embrace what we CAN do and do it fabulously well – whatever that may be.
My mother told me a little while ago, that in the 70’s when she had young children someone said to her ‘do you work’ and she replied ‘no, aren’t I lucky’.
Maybe she was. She had a frightful house, no money at all, she made everyone’s clothes, recycled everything, cooked everything from scratch, had no hired help to clean or babysit, but that was her choice.
I think women do have a voice but I also think it’s what you do in your own circle to influence opinions and change that will make a difference to our world.
Teach your sons to be respectful of women and let them see your strengths and weaknesses. Expose them to literature, situations and good role models that show how incredible we are.
Don’t make it an ‘us against them’ scenario, just teach them to make good choices and the next generation will be benefit from our example.
Have a wonderful day ladies and embrace your strengths. Mwah Lee. 💋
