Mothers and their Children.
I just watched a wonderful clip from Tamworth and I am lucky enough to know one of the singers who starred and she is truly fabulous. This family and many like them have been supporting their children 1000 ways to make their dreams come true since they were born. The genuine enjoyment they receive from this true interaction is heartwarming. They gain so much more than they give. It is an all inclusive pastime for the family with the parents along with their son being a fantastic support on drums, guitar and behind the wheel of the car. Long long hours have been spent driving to gigs which I know is not a chore in any way for any of them. Both parents also work in demanding jobs.
I know another Mum whose 3 children have been rowing every morning at 4.30am for years and competing all over Australia. She is single but has amazing support from her parents. The children also compete at an ultra high level in athletics, swimming, music, horse riding and school work and she is there every step of the way often joining in too. She is also a school teacher and horse riding coach. They are amazing well adjusted polite beautiful children.
I know about 20 families who have spent so much time buying, cooking, packing and serving food, renting accommodation, driving and scoring in every town in Queensland or Australia so their children could play basketball, soccer, rugby, tennis, swimming, AFL, sailing, gymnastics, rugby league or any of the myriad of sports and interests now available to children. It was nothing anyone whinged about, it was just the way it was. Some were nuclear families and you saw both parents, some were single Mums and some were single Dads but the same level of commitment and pride was evident. Everyone wanted the best for their children and would do anything to support their dreams.
These are all wonderfully accomplished young people whose paths I love to follow. None of them were forced to do what they love. The children themselves chose their own passion and the parents followed. My eldest chose basketball and AFL or rather they chose him – two sports I had never had much to do with. I actually thought he would be a swimmer with his long lean body and Thorpy like feet, but he didn’t like it even though I thought he was a natural. He gained a lot of interest from a young age because of his height and fell into these sports with the help of some amazing mentors like Mr Bahr, Mr Williams, Mr Ward and Mr Hooper. He had so much support it was humbling but the first time he hit the court at the instigation of my basketball friend Sue there was no looking back – he LOVED it and still does.
My youngest chose Rugby Union. Again, I had not even been to a match before and just went along with it – as I had with his soccer 3 times a week, motocross, cycling, drums and the ukulele – I actually thought he would have been a wonderful surf ironman but there you go. He LOVES Rugby and works very hard training, going to the gym, choosing good foods, cycling and watching every game of rugby ever played on the planet. The highlight of his life was meeting his heroes – The Wallabies. They were such gentlemen and so generous with their time – it’s a lesson for a young man on how to behave to younger players in the game he loves.
My eldest went to boarding school in grade 9 or at 13. It was the most heartbreaking and exciting time. He and I had been travelling 2 hours every night for him to attend AFL and Basketball training for 18 months. Then on weekends it was always a minimum of a 4 hour trip to compete. He had Sundays off usually but not always. I worked also so every morning I cooked breakfast, baked muffins, packed lunches and afternoon teas, and put on dinner in a crockpot. After school we would head off to training straight after school every week day. We would listen to Alice Cooper every night on our way home as we got home around 9 or 9.30 each night. We would eat dinner and crash.
I realised this was not sustainable as his schoolwork was suffering, his brother was not getting any of my time, so after much consideration he asked me to apply to a GPS school in Brisbane because there was a player there he wanted to play with – he received a basketball scholarship. It was terrifying but a natural step as he needed to spend more time playing – not just after school and week-ends to be at the level he needed to be at to fulfill his potential. His school at the time didn’t have a team or a basketball court. We had a ring and cement at home so he made do but he needed more.
So after the first week of school when he was allowed to come home, I was lucky enough that my Aunty Margaret picked him up from school and I met them half way home as he was ‘never going back’. Lucky, because her husband and her children had been boarders too, so she knew the drill and so calmed him a little before I saw him. After that he settled in and spent the next 18 months there. His friends from that school will be with him for the rest of his life. The idea was he could study, play, learn and neither he nor I would be doing all that driving. The necessary commitment to basketball was huge and you really couldn’t give 50%. In the off season his involvement in AFL was just as demanding. Again because of his long lean body he was a ruckman and was pretty good at it – enough to be included in the Brisbane Lions Academy for several years thanks particularly again to another few wonderfully generous AFL mentors like Mr Larkins and Mr Curran.
After 18 months he was not doing well scholastically, he was also gaunt, unhealthy and had glandular fever and it was time to bring him home. He was offered a spot in a wonderful school on the Sunshine Coast, with short term board with a wonderful family, and the opportunity to play his beloved basketball and be back close to home so we welcomed it again with trepidation but knowing it was time. His brother and I moved to his new town, his brother got accepted into the same school, and now they are best mates and both are just thriving.
They have both got amazing lives now with the sea and the sun, new good friends, an extended family, and an amazing support network. The eldest captained his team to Victory in Basketball in his senior year in 2015, got accepted into International Business at USC, deferred for 12 months and is living his dream working for money – woohoo – swimming, playing basketball and catching up with old and new friends. The youngest captained his team in Rugby, trains 4 days a week for Rugby, goes to a gym on the days he is not at his school gym and life is good.
His brother has had a totally different life and is a completely different young man. They are chalk and cheese. His love of farming and every animal on the planet has supported him. I guess in all this he probably came off second best but it was a decision that was made at the time and there were no other options – which is why we have now moved to another town an hour away, so both brothers could be together and I could be with them.
The pain of leaving my child will never leave me even though it was definitely in his best interests and he has no regrets – he would never have met his ‘gang’ or played at such a high level had he not pursued his dream. Who knows what the future will hold for either of them. They both have grand dreams so we’ll see – I’ll put my money on them.
I wrote this because I see others following their path and other parents sacrificing all for their children and I support them 1000%. It is a wonderful journey, you meet amazing friends, and your child is well adjusted, fit and worldly and has the chance to follow their dreams – who wouldn’t support that. I believe if you have children you have to do everything in your power to offer them as many experiences and opportunities as you can. It hasn’t been easy but I would do it all again – but not for a while – I am exhausted. Mwah xx
