About 12 months ago I ventured back to the surf for my own enjoyment – just in dribs and drabs. I started to remember why I had loved swimming and the beach. I have spent a lot of time over the years with the boys at the beach, at every opportunity including every Christmas and Easter holidays, but didn’t embrace it myself. I was overweight and unhappy and as much as I have always loved the beach – I went so the boys would have a love of it and it was a time to connect with family.
A couple of years ago I started the odd swim again of a morning or with my partner through the day on week-ends. I felt like I was ‘normal’ again – I felt so engulfed in gratitude that after so long I was back and it felt so good. The last time I swam in the surf regularly was 1997 when I was 6 months pregnant. Every day I would body surf at Maroochydore beach and was often one of the last few in the water as winter approached.
It was invigorating and I loved to start my day this way. I was working long hours at WIN TV and I always felt like it gave me an edge on the rest of the world.
I am back body surfing every morning now 20 years later and I am more excited than I can express. I was a competitive swimmer through school and did my surf club bronze in 1984 when I was 23 so I used to be fit and the beach was a huge part of my life. I would never ever go to a beach and not swim.
So while I was married, the biggest ‘head banging’ frustrating, stomach churning part of my life was that I couldn’t even do this one thing after having children. I saw other functional families where the mother was supported and could continue her passions, and I got more anxious and angry and unhappy and confined and resentful as the years went on.
I got health issues from the stress of being so restricted and was hospitalised a number of times with extreme stomach pain requiring morphine and a week in hospital each time. They never did diagnose this except the specialist/surgeon suggested it might be Crohns Disease or Lymphoma.
These were ruled out after a myriad of tests, however as my boys were so young I was devastated that I might actually die and leave them. The doctor then decided I was depressed as I wasn’t sleeping so prescribed anti depressants which I am still on to this day.
In the end I developed a rare condition called ‘cold urticaria’ which was an allergy to the cold. Even in the middle of summer if I tried to swim I would get huge welts, breathlessness and intense itching from swimming. I then had to have an Epipen with me to ward off an anaphylactic shock.
So I gave up and just went along with life and gave my all to being a mother which I know has made my sons into the men they are today. I continued to be 30 kilos overweight until this year and as everyone is aware I began my life changing health journey.
Why am I writing this today? Because today I feel on fire. I feel alive. I feel blessed. I feel fantastic. After swimming again at 5.30am and being one of the privileged few who has the ability to do this daily, I am starting to remember the pleasure, pride and absolute joy it is to rise early and look forward to something so special. I am so humbled that I can resume my biggest thrill which sets you up for the rest of the day. It feels healthy and special and like you have a big secret. So, today again, I got a jump on the day and I thank my partner for his encouragement and desire to see me reach my goals.
