THE S WORD ……….SUCCESS
My son asked me the other day what I thought the meaning of success was. I said, “mmmm well to me its “Living Life on Your Own Terms”. I believe your definition of success changes every five years and you should revisit your bigger goals then. It’s a good time frame for long term goals – you still set weekly, monthly, and yearly goals but 5 years is a good time frame to set some benchmarks to strive for.
My go
als in my twenties were incredibly fickle and revolved around me, work and having fun. My goals in the first 5 years of my thirties were again to work hard, pay off a mortgage and the last five years to start a family and support the family in the home. My goals at 40 were to stay afloat mentally, physically, financially and spiritually while enjoying my children. My early 50’s goals were to earn enough money to give my children a private education and access to the best sporting opportunities in Australia, while keeping them healthy and well adjusted. And now at 54 it is my goal to work doing what I love while setting up my children to be independent men pursuing their own paths.
My definition now of success is based on freedom. My last child is finishing school at the end of 2017 and so the day to day grind will no longer exist. There will be a freedom of sorts from relentless commitment. The obligation to be everything to everyone will cease. The part of your brain that has to keep up with all dates, times, events, locations and attire will be finished. The frantic ongoing race against time will be a thing of the past. Even the food shopping and preparation will be less of a burden as the time frames will be widened and they will be self sufficient.
I have always been happy to work hard and tha
t remains the same. I love people, learning, sharing writing and being ALIVE. I was made redundant in mid October which I have written about in earlier blogs. At the time it blew my world apart but now, 3 months later I am in a totally different place and off the treadmill. It is remarkable that my quality of life has increased while my income has decreased. Like so many before me who have made the tree/sea/land/farm/urban change, I have taken a similar path and just can’t believe it is possible.
I do work 7 days a week, and usually from early morning until sometimes midnight but I am not in an environment of extreme tension. The incredible daily stress is gone but I am achieving more. I am learning, meeting new people, being more active, more alive and have a vision for the future which I couldn’t see even 3 months ago – there was nothing except hopelessness. Everyone can write a meme saying ‘fulfill your dreams’, ‘follow your heart’, ‘live your passion’ or ‘find your purpose’ but until your back is against the wall it is hard to know what that is. Your brain is too busy dealing with day to day stuff.
By the end of 2017 my goal is to have everything in place so I am exactly where I want to be for the next phase of my life. I don’t want to have empty nest syndrome, I want to embrace the change with incredible pride and happiness. I want to travel, I want to experience other cultures again, I want to write, I want to be fit, I want to be living in a place I love and I want to laugh. I want to be surrounded by friends and family as I am now, and I want to respect money and life as much as I do now.
I am happy to work 20 hours a day. At the moment I am
learning to be a Barista and applying for jobs in the hope of working 5 – 6 hours a day – I love the whole coffee experience and can’t wait to be back in front of customers – really honest work. I am writing my daily blog, running the Womens HQ website plus managing our 8 other social media platforms which is pretty intense! I am learning more and more about social media daily which is incredibly absorbing – it’s like being back at school – you think you know lots but there is so much more out there and it’s changing daily. I am fortunate to be working with 17 other incredibly self sufficient women who are a joy to be associated with. I am about to start work this week on a new enterprise for a friend, which I know I am going to love – again working from home. So although I am still ‘working’ hard, I have made it into a business which I love so it’s not really working.
I can still throw a roast in the oven at 3 pm or a load of washing in at 10 am if I feel like it. (Rarely feel like it) or even have a sneaky glass of wine at 3 if I have kicked a big goal during the day – just one. I can go for a swim or a coffee when it suits and then get back to the laptop feeling alive and grateful.
So success at this point in my life is as I said – Living Life on your Own Terms. Getting into a position where you do what works for you spiritually, financially, and socially and you don’t let yourself or anybody else down. Mwah xx
