AH TO BE YOUNG
Having always felt young at heart and taken advantage of most opportunities in a pretty full life, I have never felt envious of the young. I totally understand mid-life crisis’s when your mortality peeks over the horizon and gives you a nudge. It’s like empty nest syndrome – it’s that first breath you get after such a long time, you look up and go oh – how on earth did I get here – and – that doesn’t leave much time for all you have to do – and oh God why didn’t I do this and that.
Irrespective of what you call it, it is a time to take stock of how you got to –say 54. And for me – I just think I am bloody lucky I’m still here! We were allowed so much freedom in a much safer world – we all know this and it’s well documented – but it’s funny that my children are envious of the 70’s.
No seat belts, no signs, smoking, drinking, falling out of cabs, taking off around Australia and Overseas for long stretches with no money or cares in the world – certainly no concerns for safety. There didn’t appear to be pressure to get a ‘good’ job – any job was good and if you had one you were right. You paid a car off, had a CD player and enough money for a couple of glasses of Summer Wine and a new shirt for Friday Night – that was success. I hadn’t thought about it like that – I just knew what my own goals for my children are and how much easier life will be for them if they do the hard yards now in school, sport and Uni and then they are set for life. They, however think a lot more than I ever did and question it –which I like. I still know I’m right- but I like that they have an opinion.
This week for some reason I have been quite retrospective. It’s this whole health journey as it is bringing up thoughts like how nice it is to be feeling feminine, a bit attractive, and more agile and thinking back to my past when this was just the norm. Life is much easier when you are attractive you know – you get automatic respect – you don’t have to earn it. I’m just talking first impressions. You also don’t have to agree – but I’m right. I’ve been thin and fat, young and …54 and I know.
Then I started thinking about my independence and how I just moved from my home town at 17 to Brisbane for a few years, then to Perth for a year, then to the Gold Coast for a year, then to Rainbow Beach for a few years, then to the UK for a year, then back and up to Cairns for a few years, then to the Sunshine Coast for a few years, then to Gympie for 20 years to raise the boys– and now back to the Sunny Coast. And I mostly did it all on my own. I had a partner for the UK trip and I joined a good friend who I lived with in Brisbane. I obviously also was married to the boy’s father but that was lonely and I mostly was alone with the boys. I made fantastic friends along the way who I still keep in contact with and just applied for jobs along the way. I started in advertising in the early 90’s and that’s really been my only constant.
I think I started to think about it all because at the age of 54 I actually feel supported. I feel like I am part of a team. My sons are now nearly men but deep thinkers with character and they support and respect me. I’m not married but I do have a partner and I feel like I am finally on the same page as someone and we have the same goals and desires. It’s quite a nice place to be really and I think of all the women who made it here about 20 or 30 years before me and wonder how they feel. I know it’s just an individual’s journey and there is no right or wrong – it’s just life and there are too many factors these days in life to have everyone on the same page.
So, I guess my point is this. I have never wanted to be young again and I still don’t. I have loved my funny journey and it’s a good story. I’m happy with where I am and I’m grateful I can now look back with gratitude, look forward with excitement and move on to the next phase which I believe will be travel, more travel and so much more travel. One more year of school fees and I want to see the rest of the world. The most exciting part is that I will fit into the bloody plane seats again – I’m sure they are so much smaller these days though. I hope you too are looking forward to your future with anticipation? If not, make a plan, dream a dream and empty your bucket lists. mwah x